Blogpost #7: Jealousy

Jealousy is a common and a normal human emotion to feel. We all feel and experience jealousy every once in a while. I myself was a very jealous person until I realized that it makes things or situations worse if not controlled. Jealousy can be a deadly thing. It can be a life-changing experience for an individual. Jealousy is one of the emotions we want to control. So how can we?

There are many reasons why we feel jealous and though it is a normal human emotion to feel, it tends to get out of control if we fail to tame it. I believe that for it to be tamed, we should first have to learn where our jealousy is coming from. There is always a cause why we became jealous and once we have those causes figured out, controlling it will become easier.
 

As I research articles about jealousy, I found an article entitled, "Understanding the Roots of Jealousy" by Osho from the site "Emotions: All About Emotions and Feelings". It's an article about dealing with jealousy and how can it affect our relationship with someone if we fail to control it.

In the article, a quotaion was said by the writer saying, "You have absolute freedom, just be totally happy and that is my happiness. With whom you are happy is insignificant, what is significant is your happiness". The point of the writer is that if you're happy with your partner, the one you love, to be with someone else then your partner cannot remain away from you for long and will be back in no time because who can leave such a man or a woman to accept and be happy even if their partner is with someone else.

I think the quotation depends on a given situation. It's true that some people tend to get back if the person they're getting back to thinks that way. But the fact remains that there are also some who if they were to be given freedom and be with someone else they will take that chance and get away. So in my opinion, I think that it is a big risk but these kind of risks make us learn and grow.

One thing that made me agree with the writer is the other way he see and deals with jealousy in everyday life. As you read the article, he keeps telling that one should not think about "tommorows" and live the "today" to the fullest. I believe that is true because if one keeps on worrying on what may happen in the future, you can't fully give yourself at the present. Live life fully at present and it will take its own course.

Another article I found is entitled, "Communication for Stopping Jealousy: How to Save Your Relationship" by Carla Valencia from the same site "Emotions: All About Emotions and Feelings". It's an article about how men and woman differ from being jealous. It explains different point of views of men and women and show steps on how to stop being jealous.

"Jealousy is that green eyed monster that lurks in the corner of every relationship. It can turn a happy companionship to a worst nightmare if not kept in check".

I believe the quotation is true because every relationship experiences jealousy at some point and it is the monster of it. It's one of the few major things that lead a relationship into a disaster. If we cannot learn how to control it, then it can make our relationship troublesome.

In connection to polyamory, I learned that polyamorous relationships still feel jealousy even though their relationship is an open one. Like in the case of the Triad in the TV series I've watched that the two people who are in the Triad were jealous to the other partner of their partner whom is outside the Triad relationship. I think that it is more difficult to deal with jealousy when you are in a polyamorous relationship because there are more people involved. Things may not be handled easily than when it is a monogamous one so poly people should also learn how to deal with it.

We should control jealousy instead of it controlling us. Taking control of our emotions will make us the leader of our emotions which can prevent us from entering many unwanted situations, such as break ups, low self-esteem and depression. We will be able to focus on the more important things in life and see things with a more clear and open mind which will guide us into making better decisions and finding better solutions to the obstacles that we will face in our relationships and life in general.